Thursday, September 15, 2011
Life right now
I finally have become excited for this baby to come.. So with that I am more fearful than EVER!! He has started moving, so if I can't feel him for 12 hours or more I start freaking out. Like today I got to the point where I called the drs office to go in for an ultrasound because paranoia sunk in.. Five min after calling he starts kicking me, of course right? I am only 20 weeks so it isn't going to be consistent anyway. I just needed to vent.. Deep inside I know everything is going to be perfect but it is hard to stay positive. I have 2 1/2 weeks until my next ultrasound, wish me luck! :)
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It's totally normal to vent and to be so anxious. You crossed my thoughts yesterday.
ReplyDeleteYesterday was the birthday of my little boy that I lost 7 years ago. The feelings are still there, just happy feelings instead of sad. Because, the experience of loosing him made me grow so much and learn so much. I look at life differently now and it is so awesome.
You will too as time goes on. For now, just focus on the day you will hold this new little baby boy in your arms and looking into his eyes, knowing he was just with Marie. He will bring with him a peace that he will share with you forever. Just those thoughts should help you get through the next 20 weeks. But it's normal to be anxious. Like I told you, I rented a Doppler and listened to Maysa's heart beat everyday. A little neurotic, ya, but it helped me get through it one day at a time.
Take care!