Life right now

I finally have become excited for this baby to come.. So with that I am more fearful than EVER!! He has started moving, so if I can't feel him for 12 hours or more I start freaking out. Like today I got to the point where I called the drs office to go in for an ultrasound because paranoia sunk in.. Five min after calling he starts kicking me, of course right? I am only 20 weeks so it isn't going to be consistent anyway. I just needed to vent.. Deep inside I know everything is going to be perfect but it is hard to stay positive. I have 2 1/2 weeks until my next ultrasound, wish me luck! :)

Grateful.

I couldn't be more grateful right now. To have such an easy time getting pregnant, I was kind of shocked it happened so fast but I guess we needed another miracle. Since I am almost in the 2nd trimester when I lost Marie the Dr is going to see me every 2 weeks for my sanity. He says what happened last pregnancy is like getting hit by lightning, it most likely will not happen again. I will be going to a specialist around 17 weeks, to see if maybe they had more reason the cord would have been around her neck. But anyway, I feel really good about this pregnancy and it happened fast for a reason. So we will keep our fingers crossed and I am trying to take care of myself the best I can. We are so excited and can't wait to be holding a healthy baby early next year, something to look forward to :)

Annual Mesquite trip

We went on our annual Golding family Motorhome trip down to Mesquite. Always short lived but a great time. We went skeet shooting, bowling, facials and swimming. Here are a few pics of the adventure.

Bittersweet

Today has been a little bitter and a little sweet. I originally wasn't planning on running any half marathons this year considering I would be pregnant most the year. But when things got cut short, my great brother inlaw offered his spot for the Ogden Half. I will be forever grateful that he ended up hating running. :) I would rather be pregnant still but when things don't go according to plan, I will participate in my 2nd love, Running. I still don't understand why I love it... But it sure did save my sanity in probably the hardest thing I have had to go through. And of course Ian helped too, but for me I needed it. Today while running I mostly thought of my sweet Marie, fighting the tears.. It just gave me more inspiration to run my heart out.

I was able to acheive my personal best of 1:48. Not sure if I can exceed much more than that again, but who knows maybe I have more in me.. Here is Kira and I posing after the race. So proud of her too! She can be the other crazy sister that runs half marathons too :)

Our New Place!

We have moved back to good ol' South Weber. We were pretty much here everyday anyways so we might as well. :) With the okay from Mike I was able to buy a few new furniture peices for it... Ahh retail therapy, let me tell ya...It felt great! We never have really bought any furniture other than a couch 5 years ago, so I spoiled myself at Ikea (cheap, but new :) A new entertainment center, kitchen table and chairs, bed, and love seat. That will be it for a long time. Here are some pics! I am practicing my design skills, not so good though..haha. And yes we are loving it!

Sweet Marie

I always thought I was invincible, things like that won't happen to me. And now I feel ignorant, I was taking for granite the miracle of life. It has just been over a week we were blessed with sweet Marie. I got to my 19th week Dr. appt on Thursday the 24th of Feb. It was the first appt that Mike ever missed, luckily I had my little sister Tisha there with me, and my mom out in parking lot waiting to get Tisha. Right into the ultrasound I knew something was wrong, the Dr was very obvious there wasn't something right. She only was measuring at 16 1/2 weeks. She had no heartbeat, those words just sent shock waves through my body. I think I still am in shock. The Dr told me to talk to Mike and let him know when we wanted to be induced. I just wanted to do it sooner than later, personal preference I guess. So they got us a spot at the hospital Thursday evening. I thought I wanted to go natural, but nurses talked me into an epidural which I am very glad I went with. Probably not a good time to be in physical pain and emotional. 20 hours later sweet Marie was born @ 4:45 pm. It is amazing how giving people are in these situations. There is an awesome group called Share, that came and took some pics of our little angel. I am so glad I let them come, I thought at first I was going to just pretend this never happened. But when you realize that is your baby, even if I never got to know her. I will always recognize her sweet spirit around. I am so grateful for all of my wonderful family and friends through this you have all been amazing. Here are a few pics of our sweet Marie.

Moving?

Is it true? I will be an owner of a garage, a backyard, and whatever may differ from a townhome...? This is true, should close on our new place March 23rd. Not so sure my feelings, kind of a love hate thing. I really will miss the area we are leaving, I have absolutely LOVED it here! I am sure I will shed a few tears, well I guess I did cry when I traded in my Black Beauty (my first purchased car a black jetta).. So pretty sure something like this will be harder.. haha. But it will be great where we are going so can't feel too bad about that!